Recap of these past 3 days

I learnt a lot from the past 3 days. So it is time to summarize the learning points. First, be prepared for the ups and downs. Life is imperfect. Thursday evening was fine but Friday morning was struggling. The pilates helped a bit but afterwards it was not easy as well. I made the decision not to bring office laptop home - something that was realistic as I didn’t do any office work till now. On Friday night I decided to quickly wrap up the things from Friday like the bag I used for pilates and did some documentation. So in general Friday evening was better. Saturday morning was not ok again as I could not run as planned. Afternoon was somehow better with just focusing to do things such as changing bedsheet and then running. In the evening, I learnt my lesson on Friday morning - only preparing for pilates cloths in the morning; so I prepared for swimming on Sunday morning. This morning I was almost not swimming but at the end managed to go. In the late afternoon, again I underestimated and so I came to a haircut sweating making things more difficult. These show how many cycles of ups and downs that can happen.

Second, live with the consequences. I am lazy but I seldom admit it. I just keep saying I should have done this and that. I should be more diligent. Similarly, if there are other people who make decision, I can follow some habits easily. Because if things go wrong, I can blame the consequences on others. But the same work, if there are no people deciding or asking, then it is hard for me as I am afraid of the consequences. This makes me often jumping from being lazy to be wanting to become diligent. In reality, it is okay to be lazy in some aspects as long as we are prepared to face the consequences bravely.

Third, fight for the joy as a justified sinner. Often, I fight for my joylessness to be justified. But I forget the truth that I am saved by grace alone. I am already justified. And therefore I want to fight for the joy even though I cannot fight for the joy. My part is to give my best, whether or not the joy comes, it is by God’s grace. There will be seasons where there may still be no joy feeling even though we have given our best. So it brings several things. Modesty, knowing that it does not entirely depend on us. It prevents us being legalistic. So likewise now, I am not sure what will work to overcome my anxiety. But as a justified sinner, I want to give my best in this war so that I can put my joy in God. And remember to rest too, not rest in terms of most people, but rest in Jesus knowing that we are not in this war alone.