Identifying and managing extreme points

It is still difficult to identify and manage the extreme points. Sometimes it is hard to identify or to realize that I am inside the extreme points. Sometimes it is the responding part that is difficult even when I am aware that I am already in the range of extreme points.

Let’s talk about the possible extreme points. There can be many variations. First, in thinking about other people. I tend to swing between looking at the positive sides of people and losing hope that people can change - assuming they will always be retaining their negative sides. Second, in thinking about myself, I tend to swing between wanting to become others (denying my true self) and not wanting to change at all. Third, in the work and play attitude. I tend to continously work without rest or keep distracted of the many entertainment such as video and articles without taking care of the work or other responsibilities. Fourth, in planning. I either plan too detailed thinking of all the worst case scenarios or not to plan at all.

How to identify? One straightforward is by timing. If I consecutively do something without break, most probably I am in the extrem point of work. So similarly, if I keep thinking positively about others without acknowledging their limitations, I am in the extreme point. Watching videos and articles continously or not planning at all are other examples. Second is the motivation that is harder to see. In all the extreme points, usually there can be underlying musts. I must be positive, I must be as good as others, I must work hard, I must plan in detail. The opposite is usually in terms of I can’t stand it. For example, I can’t stand other people’s limitations that I lose hope, I can’t stand to look at my limitations. I can’t stand work, and I can’t stand looking my messiness in the midst of planning.

How to respond? Responding to above, the more straightforward is to take a break. Take a break for a while and see whether that extreme point is what I really want to do. Second, is to check my must and I can’t stand it statement. Challenge it, ask so what? Ask what is the proof of my inflexibile perspective and turn it to something that is flexible and actionable.

And in the midst of identifying and managing, I need patience. Patience to look at me growing bit by bit in these two aspects. So that I can manage the balance between not wanting to look at my extreme points and being too angry too my extreme points.