It has been a week since a friend of mine prayed for me that I can rest myself on God alone, and not my achievement. It’s quite hard to let go the need to be correct all the time.
Every day somehow I have a new expectation of myself. Even a good thing such as do not need to be correct becomes a demand itself. At the same time, it is not that bad, there are some successful times as well when I can relax more whether or not I can control myself well.
Taking oBike is helpful as I need to let go the idea of correctness in riding bike - because I don’t - or swimming - because I do not know how to swim correctly as well. But when it comes to replying people’s e-mails or conversation, or in deciding what to do first and how long, it is hard for me not to judge myself. I want to be correct in those respects. I don’t like to be wrong.
So it is like a juggling for me. One hand is to learn to let go the correctness. On the other hand is to listen to people’s feedback as I tend to swing to the other state where I do not want to be corrected at all.
One thing that I need to remember is the flexiblity given the situations. Just like reading bike, I need to be confident that I can pass through people sitting in the bus stops or oncoming bike. At the same time, I need to learn to come down from bike when it is too uphill or when the bend is to sharp such as more than 90 degree. I also need to know when to cycle harder and when to slow down and start pressing the brake, when to use front brake on the right hand side or the rear break on the left hand side.
Like what my friend mentioned, I need to have a goal. And my goal is to focus on Jesus Christ as He knows what is best for me even if I cannot see clearly.
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