I may have written about this before. But I think this is needed as my needs to be correct arise again. Yesterday was still fine, but this morning I woke up with anxiety as in which one to do first and imagining the amount of tasks ahead that I cannot do all with the same level of correctness.
I expect a lot on myself, and I do not want to disappoint myself. I can feel the anger starts coming, the anger why I cannot do according to what I want. The anger due to the inability to do thing the way I want in a timely manner according to my standard.
God is gracious and He did not let me down for too long as I met people by people this morning. But in the afternoon the stress is getting more again. I tend to overwork by exceeding my 25 minutes plan or to have difficulty in deciding what I want to do when the time is not enough to do all of them.
Even just now I was planning to do duolingo and helloChinese first instead of writing because I do not want to break my streak. I also start comparing myself with others such as my interns or their other mentor.
I think a lot, coming up with different what if scenarios with the same underlying belief that I want to be correct all the time. So hopefully I can learn to let go the need to be correct progressively.
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