I was watching a youtube video when I heard that we are loved and forgiven by God. A simple statement which I wonder whether I truly believe in it.
Being loved by God means we do not need to seek for approval and love. Despite our limitations, we are sufficient because God loves us. Love that cannot be bought by anything in this world. And His love is great. He loves us so much that He died for us. So the question is if I am loved, why do I work so hard to get approval from others? What do I want to prove? Do I want to prove that I am good or smart or kind enough to earn love? It does not mean that we do not need to work hard. But why do we hard matters. Is it by joy that is overflown from His love? Or is it because of the god-like demands that we want to face this world by ourselves and our strength.
Being forgiven means that we do not need to look back too much on the past. Yes we looked back so that we can learn. But we do not need to be down as if we are the one bearing the punishment. We are forgiven because God has redeemed us. Being forgiven means that we do not need to avoid mistakes at all cost just because we are afraid that we can’t get forgiveness. Being forgiven means knowing that we are limited and giving our best even when we know that in the process we will make mistakes and hurt God or others.
Today I had another p and down. This morning I was not sure what to do as my ex-colleague is not able to join the farewell lunch for him. And so I needed to cancel it last minute. After that I missed having lunch with my colleagues whom I seldom have lunch anymore. Afterwards I was not patient to wait for lunch with interns. But afterwards, I made jokes that are not that nice such as how do we answer to the question of does your mum know that you are stupid.
Afterwards, I was also not sure to do, then went to gym, answered some questions, tried to concentrate again, but does not feel good enough. Even now there are still ups and downs.
In the midst of all these, let me remember that we are already and will always be loved and forgiven by God.
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