Today topic of the lunch organized by one of my mentors is really apt - how do we respond or how do we give feedback to others. Knowing how to respond is needed as the mid-year review is coming.
In receiving feedback, one important part is to be humble. The sharing and discussion with 9 other people today reminded me again that when we have pride, it is hard to receive feedback. Pride means we think that we are better than the rest. It also means associating ourselves with our performance. So when others give us feedback, we feel being attacked and correspondingly we will defend or become emotionally.
As we work on our pride, there are also some techniques in responding to feedback. First is clarifying the meaning of the feedback. Ask questions on what is the reason behind the feedback or what can we do to improve. In other word, learn to become curious on what others think or what the root cause is instead of taking feedbacks personally.
When it comes to giving feedback. Similar to what my best friend said, one manager said today, ask 3 things before giving feedbacks. Does the person ask for feedback? Would our feedback build the person up or tear the person down? Can we say it in a tactful way? Another technique is to write it down and save it as a draft. Think it over night before sending it out. If we are asked to do something that is not feasible, explain clearly why it cannot be done or what does it take to enable the request.
One appropriate bible verse from my mentor is from Proverbs 11:2, "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.” (ESV).
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