Which one do I want to follow?

Problems are everywhere. Today it is very tempting to say that it is a bad day. But actually it is not. So which one do I want to follow? My emotion or the truth and facts?

I woke up 2 hours late again. But unlike yesterday, I could change my perspective and focus on what next to do. So I felt good. I also did not try to copy others exactly in taking care of my daughter. So I felt more at ease. I also learned to carry her bette today and helped when needed instead of following my ego to be the main player. I told myself that at times being a reserved player is also an important role to play and there is a lot of practice to do. I also was calm when my daughter vomitted the milk. So morning was good in overall.

Afternoon starts getting tougher. I don’t like problems or don’t like to express my disagreement. I also had high ego. So when I saw many high confidence, I either flee or hate it. Despite that, thanks to my wife, I overcome the temptation to procrastinate in assembling the wooden stand. I also did jogging again and today I explored to new routes. Dinner was so delicious again, nasi kuning with empal, and tempe bacem, my favorite.

Then as evening goes, I observe several problems not related to me but made me uncomfortable. Then I also have simple problem to decide to. Despite the progress of writing to do list on whiteboard, I started getting angry of the things I don’t have time to do today as planned.

So now I am angry again. I also start jumping to conclusion by thinking tomorrow will be hopeless if I am like this now. I already said yesterday that most probably today I will struggle. I actually do better than expected. But I wanted more as usual.

The question now is which one to follow? Do I want to follow my emotions and enter the vicious cycle of anger and stoning and self-sabotaging? Or do I want to follow the truth? That yes I failed again, but there are things that I can do and those are much better than self-criticizing and parallelyizing myself. By God’s grace, I want to follow the truth and do what is right and not my emotions.