The visits to Seville and Cordoba ended up as fruitful ones. In Cordoba, we decided correctly to go on Sunday instead of Monday as the Alcazar in Cordoba closed on Monday. We managed to go to the Alcazar first which closed earlier and then to the Mezquita Cathedral. Although we didn't have booked tickets, the queues were bearable.
Similarly, yesterday we went to the Cathedral of Seville and managed to queue. After that we went to the Royal Alcazar of Seville which was booked last Saturday. By God's grace, there were nuns stopped by there by taxi that we can use it to go to Plaza de España.
In short, it was fruitful and so I was happy. Somehow it reminds me again on how attached I am to my performance which I often associate as my results.
I was happy. At the same time, it kinds of reinforces the concept of I can only be happy if the results are good. Once I step into period of unfruitfulness like in the evening, I started to feel bad or sad, especially as I have not finished my review paper.
So the question is how to untie myself from my performance?
How to remind myself that when I get good results, it does not mean I am good or great. On the other hand, when I made mistakes, it does not mean I am bad. Yes, I made bad actions but it does not necessarily mean that I am bad.
It is to invite God to change me, not because I am good or bad. But because of how long and wide His love, how high and deep of His love is for us, that He still loves me and is able to change me, be it immediately or through a long process.
No comments:
Post a Comment