Delayed Gratification

Somehow it is difficult for me to do something when I could not see the real immediate impact. It is like I am having a problem to live out the concept of delayed gratification especially when it involves active participation in doing something. A question popped up in my mind today that if someone told me to do something and it will be successful in the 1000th attempt, would I do it? Perhaps if one attempt takes only 1 sec, I will do it. But if it takes one day for each attempt, would I do it if the outcome is something that I really want? I am not sure. Somehow the present comfort seems to be more precious than anything. And that is the real barrier to have a delayed gratification.

Another symptom is that I am easily frustrated. Like just now I need to do something which I have done before but I forgot. Somehow I take it very seriously and I become upset of myself, asking how I could forget about it instead of taking it easy and put it into the to-do list if it cannot be solved now.

Just like a stall engine, somehow when I could not achieve what I want, even simple things, something that I know I can do, can end up undone due to procrastination. It’s like I do not want to move on unless something that is bothering me is solved. But is that realistic? In the world, there are many things that we cannot solve regardless whether we are the one causing it or not.

So the question, as tomorrow is a new month, would I want to try again? This month I wrote less than usual. Perhaps it is also due to the fact that I was desperate for something with immediate impact and writing may not be one of them. Also, the commitment to review my past writing would also be something that is important that hopefully I can work on even if I could not see immediate improvement after doing it.