Today I was agitated again on the issue in the manufacturing line. It started with last Friday where I was already emotional but managed to control. Then it was difficult last Saturday as I needed to stay firm and managed between spending time with family and work.
This week was tough as I was on MC for one day and on leave for another day. So the amount of time is limited. Then I got to know on Tuesday that I need to be more independent of current tasks as my colleague needed to take care another program.
What are the reasons behind my feeling? Here are three possible answers.
First, I am not feel secured. I started to scold mysef for not being able to perform up to my expectation. So the more things that I find I cannot do, I get frustrated easier and becoming angry. Second, I do not like to be rushed into something. Perhaps this is related to my anxiety of what if I cannot do. So it is an in-advance feeling of possible insecurity. Third, I am too tired. I pushed myself for both necessary and unnecessary things. I do not have enough rest or perhaps the frequency is the one not enough. I need to take small breaks in between tasks. I also need to remind myself that rest is very important to the point that I need to lower down some expectations to protect the time for resting.
One thing for sure is that I cannot give up in the midst of failures in managing my emotions. Admit my failures, take a step back to think how to do better, and then move on and try again. Remember that God can turn things including struggles and discomfort for something good.
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