Today is my first day going back to office after a 3-day-and-2-night holiday. Somehow I have not been able to focus yet. I think one of the reason is because I haven’t decided where I want to look to. Imagine that you have a camera and you want to focus, you can’t keep it focused if you keep moving the camera - unless it is a video camera. But for normal camera, you need to look at some place first before we are able to focus.
So, when I am back to office and look at the long to-do-list, I became waver again. I become shakened and distracted with the amount of possibilities that I want to do. Another thing is to let go. I have done the planning of the day and order the possible sequence of things to do. But somehow I do not feel like doing the first item on the list. So I need to make decision whether to stick to that list or create a new list. I need to understand that it is not realistic to keep switching my mind. At the end, we are just a human that is limited. Also, we need to lump in order to live. So there is no point of keep refining the resolution of the category before doing it. We can just choose and move on.
I am not sure whether I can do it. And in this kind of time, usually i buckle down. I need to remember the experience on how God has opened me. For example, the motorbike lesson has given me the experience that as long as we keep practicing, the thing that we thought hopeless previously can come true. So I am not sure whether after this I can do it again. But keep note that when I fall, move back up again and continue again.
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