It is hard to depend on God. We know that we need to trust God. But living it out is much more difficult than understanding it. Even on the simple things.
I want to buy flight tickets and there is an ongoing promotion which will end on 5 April. I now exactly that if God willing, I will be able to go. But it seems hat I want to secure it as soon as possible with any means. My credit card statement cycle happens to be on 10th of the month. So I know that if I want to optimize the cashback, I need to buy after the 10th. But my fear is not getting another good price is higher than that God-given logic.
I tried to search many flights yesterday to find none can match the promotion. So I become even more convinced that I must buy the ticket today even if it means troubling my friend who has the required credit card for the promotion although he will fly overseas tomorrow.
This morning, there is an alternative from my wife’s email. I opened the link to find out that yes it is cheaper or even better but does not include the travel period of interest.
When she reminds me that there is no need to buy today, I try to rationalize my fear. Thank God that somehow I manage to find another airline that gives similar price and there is no particular deadline.
It is only God’s grace that He keeps giving me the evidence for not worrying too much. Amazingly, my unbelief is not the first time it happens. There are many other circumstances which I fail to believe Him. Even I am not sure whether I can remind myself the next time I need to buy the ticket. Our efforts and God’s guidance are intertwined, the question is whether we choose to trust Him when there is unnecessary fear coming.
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