How much am I willing to keep growing up?

Today I watched Actor School, a Korean variety show. There, the students were given challenges that push their limits every day. In one of the session, it was a simple task of running back and forth. The initial limit was 60 seconds which everyone managed to do. But the limit was pushed down more and more that it seem to be impossible for them to do it. They worked hard and somehow they managed to do it. The action mentor said that this show how often we did not use our potential. The question is that whether each of us is willing to keep growing up.

I thought I like to learn but apparently it’s not the same as growing up. Learning is not necessarily equal to growing up as sometimes we learn without applying. We don’t push ourselves, we don’t try to change something with the knowledge we have. We know we can do it, but we don’t do it.

So the question is how much am I willing to keep growing up? Is it only a little that when things get tough, then I give up? I saw how those students in the actor school cried, physically exhausted, physically fell down and rolled down on the floor. Do I have the same spirit?

Am I humble enough to grow up? To face the gruesome feeling of some problems or to run away from those pain either by not doing anything or becoming angry to those causing the problems?

Two days ago was my last counseling session for this year. It was great to see all the progresses I have made. In fact, I need to learn to give myself rewards. At the same time, the question is whether I want to spend the efforts to keep growing or stop here. Am I willing to practice something that I don’t master it now. For example, the suggestion was to plan ahead and allocate the hours to do the scheduled activities together with the buffer time for unexpected activities. Usually I don’t want to do them as it will expose me to more failures when I could not follow those schedule. Now that I learn the danger of the all-or-nothing thinking, am I brave enough to try again? Am I courageous enough to face the pain of growing up?