Recap of last week

It is more than a week since my last post. Many things have happened. Last Tuesday I heard stories from my wife’s first check up at NUH. Thank God that things are going well. On Wednesday, I read an article and a video from my wife that were really exposing my way of thinking, and they are useful to understand myself better. On Thursday I learned to manage my anxiety and still led a meeting despite my worries and doubts. On Friday I learned to leave early together with my wife and the appointment was fast that I can reach office on time. I also managed to make decision to go back early. My colleague reminded me that it is not possible to please everyone. Also, that work is not the most important, we need to focus on the comments from those we love. A comment is also not taken seriously before it is repeated by others or perhaps in my own reflection when it is repeated several times. He also reminded me to be aware of my breathing. In the church, I also learned from the conversation with Elder Chan whose article appeared on last Thursday’s Straits Times. He shared on how to be fearless with the mindset not to offend people but to be true to our principle and be curious when things are said to be impossible. Things are not 1 or 0 and so use the wisdom given by God to find alternatives such as the example of car ownership. He also commented on how I can respond better about the issue my intern faced.

On Saturday I failed to manage my anxiety as I underestimated the load that day. End up I hurt my beloved and left a scar. It shows that there is a consequence on what I did. And how anxiety can create problems.

This week it has been 4 days. There are many instances where I hate myself. And where I went back up again. I received many useful inputs and sometimes I became stressed wanting to capture all. At the same time there is a need to wrap up as it seems I kept starting something and not wrapping them up. End up the list of things in my mind become longer and longer. Nevertheless, again, there is no use of scolding myself. What I need is to accept myself, remember that only God who can fix me, and give my best.