In the past four days I began to be more confident. Perhaps that’s after recap of the last two weeks with many ups and downs that I began to see that it is perfectly fine to be imperfect. For example, days with struggles at some part of the time, some failures, and at the same time some successes in overcoming the fear and just asking other people or doing what is needed.
Last Friday I managed to focus on one thing out of the three. Similarly, yesterday I could only did two out of the 3 top things. Today I only managed to do one of the main priority while others are not met. But I just felt happy.
At the same time, it is also a reminder that streak is not necessary. Having two consecutive working days with positive overall feeling does not need to continue everyday. It is normal if we have some days with overall negative feelings. Of course it does not mean that we reduce the effort for counting blessings instead of counting mistakes. But even in that, we may fail to count blessings in some days.
Another reminder is that when I feel happy, it does not mean things are okay and then I start to take new commitments that are more interesting or for the sake of sustaining the happy feelings. For example, I thought today is pretty good. But if I look objectively, there are still many important things that are not yet touched. So yes, thank God that I can be happy. But it does not mean that things are going well. I need to continue to focus on working the important and non-urgent stuffs. So continue the effort to calm down when there are new optional things coming up.
It is not easy. But again, our part is to give the five loaves and two bread, our best, and let God do the rest. Also, remember that only God can fix us.
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