Amazingly I lost my temper in less than 48 hours since I was angry last Friday. This time I was upset with a colleague of whom do not want to micromanage but has hidden expectations to my quality of work. At the end I need to learn that I can only change myself and indeed I haven’t done my part which is to prepare sufficient data in timely manner.
One thing I am amazed is the amount of grace God gives to me this year. Of course every time He is gracious, but I feel that His grace is really obvious in the way I have been being shaped this year. After I am able to manage my worries, now I am opening a can of worms such as my procrastination and pride. A friend reminded me not too be surprised. This is because as long as we live in this world, we will need to face our dark sides and be confronted by the Holy Spirit to be a better version of ourselves according to the image of God.
I protested before. Why it is just becoming more and more things to improve. I forgot that the realization of the need to change is actually one of the greatest gifts ever. It is like a blind man who is opened his eyes. Everyday he will learn something new as now his eyes can see clearly. Similarly, I am now able to see who I am and who Jesus wants me to be, although the process to go there is difficult. Just like why I was upset today is because I think my colleague is asking me to change at the rate faster than what I am capable of.
I need to remember that with God, all things are possible. The one that I need to do is to give my best and let Him shape me, be it in managing my worries, keep starting instead of procrastinating, humble myself given that all I have is a loan from God, and to manage my temper so that even when I have a reason to, there is no need to lose temper and stick to the rational belief that God has enabled us to think.
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