It’s been quite sometime since the last time I felt the dread of doing things, the feeling of not wanting to do anything, the feeling of want to escape, and just keep swarming myself with information with the hope to get rid of that feeling. But I already know that doing that will not get the feeling away. Even running to sleep will also not get rid that kind of feeling. I need to fight it, I need to face it and overcome it. And that’s why I am here writing even if I don’t feel like writing. Because only by facing the pain, the pain can be treated and healed.
So remember, we cannot control when the rain comes, but we can control what we do during rain. We can find a shelter. We can bring umbrella. We can use raincoat. The list goes on. In the same way, I could not control when this feeling comes. At the same time, have hope. In this kind of feeling, there will be fear that this feeling sticks and will not come off. But remember, it has come off before, and therefore I can do it again with God’s grace. It will not be easy, but I can do it. Things will change as we keep walking. There are things that we cannot see now, but it does not mean that it does not exist.
Also, a reminder has also been given. Just today I was reminded about the spiritual amnesia where we forgot how great God is. So here I am, need to remind myself again that I can stand this. That God’s grace is greater than my fear and my problem. And therefore, I can continue again.
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