The pain of feeling inadequate

Today is better than yesterday as I had 8.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep last night thanks to my wife who did not wake me up and because I went to bed at 9.30 pm. But today I still feel terrible and it comes from the pain of feeling inadequate.

I have tried to prepare myself today as best as I can. When I face some roadblocks and need to admit I don’t know much, or I don’t do as much as I want, I feel inadequate and I hate that feeling. That made me panic again today and I almost wanted to give up work and just went home.

So I decided to call for my mentor in office and asked his help to pray for me just before lunch. I was desperate and my counseling appointment is still next week. But I guess I made the right choice for the root cause of feeling inadequacy is because we will only be satisfied in God.

The reason I feel inadequate is right because truly no man is perfect. The problem is then I look for success, people’s approval, and things that are easy to cover those feelings. But nothing satisfies like God. And here I am, trying very hard to satisfy based on things that are temporary even if I can achieve them.

So remember the story of the prodigal son. He is still loved by his father despite what he does. Put my identity as God’s beloved because of Jesus’ sacrifice. And when I fail to put my identity in that truth, turn my eyes upon Jesus and relies on Him.