It has been the sixth day of the year and this is my second post. And I even need to drag myself to write this. As I am feeling uncomfortable now after being emotional, I remembered that the best way to overcome pain is to embrace it. Writing is one of the ways to do it. To acknowledge and admit that we feel uncomfortable, that we were angry, that we did something. No matter how irrational it was, it did happen. There was a saying that something can not be changed until it is first admitted.
I also need to admit that I am lazy to write. Just as I have observed last month, I only want to do things which are exciting. The excitement can come either from the joy of helping people, the adrenalin rush of being last minute, the comfort of doing something easy. So in other word, I will not do something if it does not meet those criteria. For example is writing. It is not last minute. It is not really for others as this is for myself. It is also not easy to decide what to write. As it is not exciting, I do not do it. This is in contrast with duolingo. No matter how tough it is, there is always a key answer, so it can be considered as providing comfort on doing something that it is more straightforward.
I asked myself do I love writing? Well, may not be. So the better question is do I need writing? Yes or no. Theoretically I do need as I need to get the emotions out of my head. At the same time, practically it is often no especially as I feel high nowadays. So I feel that I do not really need to do this writing. I have also stopped doing filling up the template of rational emotive behavior therapy. My exercise is also not as tight as previous when I felt stressed.
So I guess I need to remind myself, no matter how it seems that I do not need it, the truth is that I need this writing. Perhaps it is not just for myself, but also for following God’s calling to create. I do not cook, I do not do art. So perhaps, a creation that I can do is this write-up.
I also need to admit that I am lazy to write. Just as I have observed last month, I only want to do things which are exciting. The excitement can come either from the joy of helping people, the adrenalin rush of being last minute, the comfort of doing something easy. So in other word, I will not do something if it does not meet those criteria. For example is writing. It is not last minute. It is not really for others as this is for myself. It is also not easy to decide what to write. As it is not exciting, I do not do it. This is in contrast with duolingo. No matter how tough it is, there is always a key answer, so it can be considered as providing comfort on doing something that it is more straightforward.
I asked myself do I love writing? Well, may not be. So the better question is do I need writing? Yes or no. Theoretically I do need as I need to get the emotions out of my head. At the same time, practically it is often no especially as I feel high nowadays. So I feel that I do not really need to do this writing. I have also stopped doing filling up the template of rational emotive behavior therapy. My exercise is also not as tight as previous when I felt stressed.
So I guess I need to remind myself, no matter how it seems that I do not need it, the truth is that I need this writing. Perhaps it is not just for myself, but also for following God’s calling to create. I do not cook, I do not do art. So perhaps, a creation that I can do is this write-up.
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