Happy birthday my beloved wife!

Congratz for surviving another year! 2017 was a very tough year for you and you deserve much more than what I can do and give.

You need to handle new job with all its newness, handle the extreme rollercoaster of your husband’s emotion, and the physical pain in expecting our baby.

1 year ago was your first month dealing with secondary school students instead of primary, going the long distance from Bukit Batok to Bishan everyday, teaching classes in the evening, and teaching Bahasa Indonesia instead of English, Maths, and Science. New colleagues, new way of doing things, losing the chance of meeting close colleagues everyday, were all tough. But you adapted incredibly and made significant contributions in setting up the system and resources. And I think your students are very fortunate to have you teach them :).

The past 1 year was tough for you as I changed personalities several times.

It began with relatively better moods after the long holiday in Dec 2016 which helped me recover. But then I went too extreme. I changed to the other side of me which you have not seen, namely shamelessly sharing info. Everywhere I go I share something from Duolingo to job vacacny in your office even when I have not talked long to them. Then afterwards, the angry side of me appeared. I become angry easily especially when receiving feedbacks no matter how true and useful they are. You asked me to submit to 1 conference but in my excitement, I wanted to submit to 4 which was clearly beyond my ability and time resources. I ended up with 1 rejected and 1 which I wanted to withdraw if not because of my friend.

Worst, the June holiday which was supposed to be fun became a negative turning point. I became anxious of many things and hurt you. I became angry of myself too on too many things that I ended up down again for several months. You needed to grit your teeth and brought me for treatment even when the future looked bleak with days after days of no improvement. You had to endure my harsh words and emotion even when there is such beautiful news of our baby. You needed to hold your sadness and stepped up to take care of our family and looked for house.

In September I started to be better thanks to your painful tears due to me being anxious and uninvolved in renovation. It was God’s grace that it went on and even the Dec holiday which was on the brink of cancellation became one of the most memorable as it was the most relax holiday so far.

Now I am not down but the anger comes more frequently and I need to be careful. It was a tough year last year and I hope to alleviate your struggle by continuing to seek treatment and improving my emotional muscles’s strength and flexibility realistically.

The physicial pain due to the pregnancy was not easy as well. Again, salute to your grit, you could overcome the morning sickness with ginger tea, found the right meals and milk, worked hard for exercise every morning. Sleeping becomes harder, legs start swelling, and the list can go on. Thanks for coping very well for our baby and for ourselves.

Let’s remember that our God continues to be with us, shaping your stubborn husband to be better, and granting enough strength, and fills you with joy in each step of the journey forward. Like what our wedding ceremony text said, God makes everything beautiful in His time. Happy birthday my beloved wife!